


The Alternate Snow-Verse

by CoffeesForFuckers, NewYearsEveBaby02



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Snowbaz - Fandom
Genre: Adorable, Alternate Universe, Cute, Fluff, Gay, Happy, M/M, Mostly Fluff, One Shot Collection, One-Shots, Random - Freeform, Sad, Smut, SnowBaz, Sweet, carry on simon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-10-19 13:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10640643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeesForFuckers/pseuds/CoffeesForFuckers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewYearsEveBaby02/pseuds/NewYearsEveBaby02
Summary: A collection of one-shots and short writings about the SnowBaz universe





	1. One || Trending || ~Personal.Instability

#  Baz

Laying on my bed I fought sleep, I wanted to just watch Snow a bit longer. I wanted to soak up as much of him as possible before it all ended. I wished I could’ve realized I was in love with him when I met him, how did I not, those blue eyes, the blonde curls, that voice and just him… It was the last year I could see him, summer was approaching too soon and I would soon have nothing to look forward to. My eyes droop and I try to force myself to stay awake but sleep won it’s battle with me.

I awake, bleary-eyed and dazed. Snow is bumbling about the room as he did each morning, it was his way of awaking me without actually having to come in contact with me. I watch him move about, shirtless Snow will one-hundred percent be the death of me. I love watching him get ready. I love  _ him _ .

I’m so tired still but once Snow leaves the room I stumble out of bed and peel off my pajamas. I stood only in my boxers, rummaging through my closet. Snow and I were supposed to share it but I took it for my own in our first year. He had to make do with some drawers beneath his bed, I did feel  _ kind of _ bad but not really.

I yawn and grab a button-down t-shirt, the school’s signature tie for eighth-years and a pair of fancy dress pants. I have a wicked pounding in my head.

“Could you be any slower?” Snow speaks as he reenters the room from the bathroom.

“Stop your damn bitching, I have a bloody splitting headache.” I groan, this is the one time I couldn’t stand his annoying whining. I don’t even bother looking at him knowing I’d end up staring.

**_“Relax and clear your mind!”_ ** The familiar feeling and taste of Snow’s magic fills me and my head clears. I turn to face him, confused as to why he’d helped me out.

“...Thanks, Snow…?” I say softly. He gives me a nod and he receives a half smirk. A yawn slips past my parted lips.

I was late for breakfast.

***

I only had a half day of classes today, the rest of my day is spent up in mine and Snow’s bedroom, he was probably off with Bunce or something. I’m scrolling through Twitter on my phone, bored out of my bloody mind and having nothing better to do. It’s dull without Snow around to bother and stare at.

#ConfessAndDigress was trending, curiousity overwelmed me and I started looking through all the tweets, all videos or links to videos on YouTube. I press one after scrolling through the tag for a while.

It shows a girl sitting near some guy, “Hey, Daniel.” She grabs his attention.

“Yeah?” He looks up from what I assumed was his phone, giving her a glance.

“I like you.” She smiles, she’s very obviously shaking.

“I’d assumed so?” He seemed to take it the wrong way.

“No, I mean, like… I  _ like  _ you, Daniel!” She gushes and his eyes seem to widen as his mouth hangs open in awe as it sinks in what she actually meant.

“Wow…” He shakes his head, snapping himself out of the trance he was in, “Yeah, me too.” And the video ends.

I watch a few more videos, most ended poorly or were confusing. I wanted to join in on the trend.

***

Snow got home really late. It must have been around midnight, I had gotten too tired to wait up for him by at least nine. I know, lame but I had been up until three the night before and was up at five. I have every right to be tired.

Snow collapsed down onto his bed, too tired himself to even take off his clothes before falling asleep. He hit the bed and was out. I was wide awake now. My mind was racing with thoughts about him. Snow always boasted about not thinking but how the hell can you just not think about things. I constantly think about anything that bothers, upsets, excites me and almost anything else in between that as well. Most of my thoughts were of Snow. I stare at him so much that I could probably draw him perfectly and I can’t even draw!

His sleeping face was so pretty. Well, I mean when wasn’t he absolutely stunning, really? He breaths through his mouth, that’s probably the only downside of that idiot. His stupid, dopey, too-big-for-his-face grin, his beautiful, sparkling, sky blue eyes, his sunshiney, golden waves of curls, his perfect, very pale body, his tempting moles and markings, his glorious, burnt scent… Simon Snow.

I find myself reciting every perfect detail of him in my head, everything including his tired, sloppy look in the morning, drool dried to his face and his hair flat to his head, he’s slightly shiney from sweating in the warm spring night. Simon Snow was so perfect that even his weird flaws were beautiful. 

I hated his perfect body and his chiseled muscles that you could only see when he wasn’t clothed. I hated the way he always looked like he was half-there, and the way his eyes sparkled when he talked about anything he was passionate about (mostly food), and what I hated the most about him was the way he made me feel, even without seeing him I wanted him and was constantly swooning. Just his touch made my hair stand on end and sent pulses of energy through my skin.

He snored softly on the opposite side of the room from me. Crowley he was so cute. Send help, I can’t breathe over him.

I wanted to tell him how much I loved every piece of him.

And I think I’m going to participate in the Twitter action.

***

It was Saturday and #ConfessAndDigress was still the number one trending hashtag on Twitter, as a matter of fact, it was trending topic everywhere.

Snow was sitting on the floor of our room, leaning against his bed with a book in hand. I setup my laptop to record and opened a window in front of it, just a blank word document.

“Snow.” I say and he glances up at me from his book.

“What?” He’s snappy.

“Uh, can… Could you help me figure something out for linguistics?” I say even though Snow knew it was total bullshit. 

“Why?” He gives me a narrow-eyed look.

“I just can’t seem to get this lesson.” I lie.

“Why do you want my help?” He speaks bitterly.

“Because you’re here and I know you get the gist of this shit.” I roll my eyes at his stubborn skepticism.

“Fine… What do you need help with?” He doesn’t even bother to get up.

“Come here.” I say, sliding some books aside and patting the bed nearby. This is when he get’s really iffy about the situation.

“Baz, what are-”

“I’m not fucking plotting, Snow, just get over here and help me damn it.” I snap and he’s taken aback but relieved that I’m acting more myself suddenly.

He comes over and sits near me, not close enough. I slide closer to him and turn the laptop just enough to be able to capture the moment.

“What do you need help with?” He asks and takes the book I have in my lap and places it in his own, “What the fuck?” He mutters to himself, “Baz, what’s going on here? I know for a  _ fact  _ that you don’t need help with this. This was from the beginning of seventh year! We’re not even learning this!”

I’ve been caught.

“Um… Snow, uh… I… That’s not, er… That wasn’t… I didn’t mean to be… You see…” I’m stammering like a bloody idiot, I sound like Snow whenever I get cocky with him.

“Baz, tell me right now what the fuck you have planned.” He demands, looking me dead in the eyes and I feel my breath hitch in my throat. His eyes are so blue… 

I feel my stomach drop and my heart is pounding so hard I swear it's going to either burst or beat right out of my chest. I’m trembling as my mind races for an answer, an excuse, neither of which I have for him. Everything I’d had planned in my head was tossed the fuck out the window along with my ability to form words.

I grab Snow by the collar of his shirt in an attempt to play it off as a threat. His blue eyes… And those fucking bright pink lips. 

I’m bloody kissing Simon Snow.

And he isn’t pulling away.

Though he isn’t doing much of anything, his body stiff for the longest time before pulling back abruptly.

“Baz! Wha-”

“I like you!” I blurt out, interrupting him, “I like you a-whole-fucking-lot, Simon!” I find myself speaking without even thinking, my mind is fried and things are just falling out of my mouth without my brain’s permission.

His wide eyes stare back into my equally as wide ones, he blinks heavily after a moment and kind of shakes his head to snap himself out of this transfixed stare he’d had on me in utter shock and confusion. He blinks a few more times, his mouth hanging open as he tried to process the last minute or so. I realize my hands rested on his chest and I’m leaned towards him still, his eyes hypnotising me to the point where I’m frozen and my breath is caught in my lungs.

He starts to laugh anxiously, “F-Funny… Baz…” He seems unsure of himself.

“No…” I shake my head, “I… I actually really like you a whole lot.” I admit, words still dumping out of me, “Really, I think I’m... in love with… With you... If I’m honest.” It’s all so much for him to absorb, I mean, I can see why he’s so obviously confused, his enemy, the person who had tried to ‘kill’ him, just said he was bloody in love with him! I would be pretty shaken if it were the other way around. He’s definitely taking it better than I would’ve.

I see his body lurch forward but stop quickly and pull back. My hand is still on him, I’m buzzing with energy.

He lurches forward once again but doesn’t stop until he’s kissing me so hard that I actually tip over backwards and he’s on top of me. The sound of my laptop hitting the floor doesn’t even phase either of us.

I’m kissing Simon Snow.

I’m  _ finally _ kissing Simon fucking Snow.

He pulls at my hair and I claw at his back. He runs his tongue over my lips and I let him enter. This was more than I ever could’ve imagined. He was a brilliant kisser, his mouth was so soft. (Especially for a mouth breather). 

He pulls away, breathless, after what felt like decades. My heart is beating so hard in my chest that it rattles my bones.

“I didn’t know you were queer.” I’m whispering. He’s so close, I can’t breathe. I may need an ambulance for suffocation or heart failure.

“I didn’t either.”

The video went viral.


	2. Two: || Fourth-Wheeling? More Like Double-Dating. || ~Personal.Instability

#  Simon

My headphones shoved deep into my ears, music blaring deafeningly loud. I was fuming, stupid Agatha has the nerve to drag me along on her date and with  _ Baz  _ of all people. And of course Baz brings his fucking friend Niall. Baz is in the passenger seat, Agatha’s driving and Niall is right next to me, behind Baz. I'm leaned against the window trying to ignore everybody around me.

_ Why did I come? _ You're probably saying, well I wasn't told this was a date or that Niall nor Baz were coming either. I wasn't very happy with Agatha right now.

We were going to a carnival type thing on a peer so I could just go get lost in the food stalls while they had fun, right? 

Wrong.

We got there and Agatha seemed to be losing interest in Baz and gaining interest in Niall. I mean who wouldn't prefer someone with an actual fucking personality over an evil prick who also happened to be a vampire. 

I was stuck following them around and was more and more getting stuck with Baz who went from date to third-wheel before we even got to the line for the first ride. He didn't even seem to give a shit either. He'd been trying to steal her from me since first year before she was even mine.

After the first three rides I was beyond the point of just wanting to go home. I could tell that Baz and I (for the first time ever) agreed on something. It looked like the sun was starting to bother him too. I knew that the sun didn't really hurt him but he said once that it stung a bit and I can tell that he was sick of being outside in the blistering heat. 

I was starving, I mean, I was  _ always  _ hungry but I hadn't eaten all day and all I could smell was the amazing scent of fried dough. My stomach growled softly and I frowned. 

“What are you pouting about now?” Grumbles Baz, a bored and half angry expression wrapped around his face.

“I'm not pouting.” I mutter in reply, neither of us looking at each other. 

“Yes you are, you've been pouting since we got in the car.”

“I'm not pouting,  _ Baz.”  _ I hiss in reply, “I'm  _ bored _ . If that's considered pouting then you're worse than me.” My blood boils.

“I'm not pouting either,  _ Snow. _ ” He snaps back in the same tone as me, “I'm just pissed I'm being dragged along.”

“And you think I'm not? I'm starving and tired and bored and want to be anywhere other than here with anybody other than you all.” I spat, whipping to look at Baz, catching him staring, not at Agatha but at me, “What are you looking at, Pitch?” I snarl.

He seems flustered for just a quick second, taken off guard, just for a second though, “Not fucking much obviously.” He retorts half-heartedly.

My chest gets tight at the words and my fists clench at my sides, “Get fucked, Pitch.” I hiss through clenched teeth. 

#  Baz

“Get fucked, Pitch.” Snow snarl, it's kind of hot if I'm honest.

“By you? Gladly.” I mumble beneath my breath. I couldn't help it. 

“What?” Snow’s head whips up, his back straightening as he looks at me.

_ Fuck. _

“What?” I say back.

“You said something. What did you say?” He surprisingly made out his sentence without stammering once.

“I didn't say anything, you're losing it, Snow.” I try and play it off.

“No, you-”

“Guys! Hurry up!” Wellbelove calls and I let out a sigh of relief as I jog to catch up. I need to keep myself distracted from Snow.

That’s what I hoped for but everything in me refused to stay with Wellbelove and Niall. The only reason I even did all this was to make Snow jealous and of course she had to go and ruin it by running off with fucking  _ Niall. _

Snow catches up a few moments later, looking miserable still. Only I was allowed to make him miserable, goddamn it Wellbelove. His shoulders looked red and sore, I actually kind of felt bad for him for once, I knew that sunburns suck, being in the sun for a long time ends up burning but it never leaves a mark on me and it goes away after a bit inside but sunburns lasted a long time and were really painful.

“I’m starving.” He groans, “Agatha I’m going to get food, don’t wait up.” He sighs.

“I’m hungry too, I’m going with him, plus I’m getting really fucking tired.” I say, I may want to stay away from Snow (I don’t  _ want _ to but I  _ have _ to, to keep myself from just snogging his stupidly pink lips off) but I honestly was so hungry and the sun was really bothering me.

“Really?” Groans Snow disheartedly.

“Don’t worry I won’t fucking be bothering you.” I snap. I hated to be mean to him but I didn’t quite know how else to act around him. I sound like a damn kid.

I walk a bit behind Snow, the way he looked at all this food is the way I looked at him, the way I wanted him to look at  _ me. _

He gets something called Fried Dough or something, I’d never heard of it but it looked amazing, “Snow.” I say.

“What?” He glances at me.

“What is that?” I point at his plate.

I swear he looks at me like I turned into a fucking troll, “Uh, Fried Dough.” He gives me that ‘ _ Duh, Dumbass _ ’ voice.

“No, like I know what it’s  _ called _ , but like what  _ is it _ ? I’ve never even heard of it before.” I say and that causes Snow to almost choke on it.

“What the fuck kind of sheltered life have you been living, Baz!?” Snow gasps with wide (beautiful) eyes, “Here.” He rips off a piece and hands it to me, taking me aback. 

Simon Snow is sharing his food? With me?

I take it and place it in my mouth, covering it with my hand. I hated eating around others, it was a known fact. I only hated it because my fangs popped when I ate.

My eyes grow wide like Snow’s, it’s so fucking good, it’s absolutely amazing!

“Me too, Baz.” Snow half chuckles.

“This is really good.” I mumble as I swallow the chunk of fried bread.

Snow seems to hesitate for a second, “Um, do you want to share it? It’s really big, I didn’t expect something so huge.” He tries to play it off as he couldn’t eat it all himself.

“Oh, are… Sure.” I give him a weird half smile/sneer thing, “Can we find a shady, not so crowded place to eat?” I ask and he gives a nod. We wonder a bit before I suggest we sit under the peer as there was nowhere else but the overpacked tent that people went to sit and eat.

Snow surprisingly agreed.

Sitting under the peer, the sun is setting and the water is glowing and so is Snow. He always seems to glow though. I think this is the hardest thing on the planet, the temptation to kiss him was worse than my bloodlust after a few days without hunting. He looked so amazing, I keep catching myself staring. Thankfully he hadn’t caught me yet.

My heart was pounding, I was seated so close to him our arms were touching slightly. Snow was sticky with sweat, which was understandable in this heat, I also was a bit sticky myself but not as bad as Snow, mostly because my body temperature was much lower than his.

We had finished the fried dough a bit ago but Snow really wanted to watch the sunset. I wasn’t protesting. Once the sun had set he seemed like he was actually excited to go have fun on the rides. 

I lifted him back to the peer effortlessly, he was so light and then I pulled myself up with ease. Best part of being kind of dead is the fact that I have ‘super-human’ strength. 

Almost instantly we find Wellbelove and Niall again, they were more of a couple in only a few hours than Snow and her were in a few years.

They drag us from ride-to-ride very unwillingly. Only Wellbelove and Niall seemed to be having any fun still. I had more fun staring at my enemy under a peer than doing any of this shit.

It was about ten-thirty that night when Niall and Wellbelove dragged us to the ferris wheel. We had to have been in line for almost an forty-five minutes to an hour before we were first in line.

“Next.” The operator called and all four of us stepped up to give him our tickets, “Only two per cart.” He says, both Niall and Wellbelove are gone before we can even speak.

“Well, we should-”

“No way in hell am I wasting an hour in line for that, I’m going on.” Snow mutters and has the man his ticket, climbing onto the next cart. In a split seconds, bloody fucking stupid idea and gave the man my ticket, joining Snow on the ferris wheel.

The ride started and I’m sat across from Snow. The lights from it lit him up and made him glow, I couldn’t help but stare, entranced by him. His eyes, his beautiful, bright, baby blue eyes. His golden, glowing crashing waves of hair that was just piled atop his head, shaved almost to the skin. His lightly pink cheeks and nose that looked ever-so-slightly burnt. He has freckles that seemed to appear only when his skin tanned, his dark moles popping against his pale body. His mouth so sweet and pink, almost red, they were soft looking even though he was an avid mouth breather. (His only flaw).

“Baz?” Snow is staring back at me as he finally snaps me out of my trance.

I shake my head a bit, trying my hardest to shrug off the urge to kiss him, I had to actually force myself not to. He was so close I could feel the warmth of his sun kissed skin and his breath hitting my cheeks.

“Are you alright? You’re staring.” Snow says, surprisingly not annoyed.

“I’m in love with you.” My voice is so soft I can barely hear it.

“What was that?” Snow’s brow furrows and he leans more towards me, he’s so close,  _ too _ close. My breathing is uneven and my heart is pounding erratically, I’m trembling.

“I-... I’m in-in… I’m in l-love with you, Simon.” I stammer between shaky breaths.

He leans in more, “I can’t hear you, Baz.” He’s genuine, I can tell by the spark of worry and curiosity in his eyes.

I swallow hard, trying to rid the lump in my throat, clenching my fists hard and they’re shaking so bad that Snow noticed. I notice his hand reaching to touch mine but he jerks his arm back suddenly.

I try to speak but nothing will come, I feel like I could throw up I’m so worried. I couldn’t help but wonder what the fuck I was doing.

“Baz?” Snow speaks and I watch his smooth lips, his warm voice wrapping around me comfortingly, his breath running over my mouth, “What’s going on? Are you afraid of heights?” He asks me and I just shake my head. 

He looks into my pale eyes with his vibrant ones, so full of life. Of course I was in love with him when he looked like that, when he smiled like that, when he talked to me with that beautiful voice. I loved Simon Snow so much it hurt. I noticed he ever so slightly swayed back and forth as he sat there. I glance out. We hadn’t even stopped yet.

When I look back, I’m staring deep into the galaxy within Snow’s eyes. I’d never been  _ this  _ close to him ever before, I’d never seen the river of a galaxy, a whole nother world balled up in his bright blue eyes.

I want to kiss him, I want so much to kiss Simon Snow.

#  Simon

I’m so close to Baz, I’m looking so deep into his pale grey eyes that I can almost see another dimension. I can feel his breath against me and he’s shaking so hard that I can also feel that too. My heart was pounding so hard and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what I was feeling right now. Baz was too soft and I couldn’t hear what he was saying but he wouldn’t say it again now.

Baz looks out the window and I can’t remove my gaze from him. Now I was the one staring. WHat the hell was happening here? Why was my heart pounding and why were my hands clammy even though I was freezing? Why was there a lump in my throat and a rock in my stomach?

Baz looked back at me and his eyes looked so deep into mine I thought that he could see into my soul. I let out a shaky breath, what the hell was this feeling? Why did I want to cry and laugh at the same time?

I’m leaning towards Baz… Why? What was I doing? What was happening? 

My eyes were still staring into his. He looked so alive in his eyes but so dead everywhere else. My hands move on their own and grab his forearms where they were bent, resting on his legs. I try to swallow the lump in my throat, my body knows what’s happening but my brain can’t keep up.

Baz’s breath hitches suddenly and he stiffens. I feel his sweaty palms grab my forearms back. I’m so close, his eyes staring at me, wide and with shock. His eyes shut and mine follow suit.

I’m suddenly kissing the man before me.

That’s when I realize I’m madly in love with my worst enemy.

His hands tangle in my hair as I grip his shirt, he pushes me back and is now on my lap. He seems to be rocking against me, his body moving on my own, his lips following his hips, my tongue begging for entrance from his magical, overly soft lips. Baz knows what he’s doing, one of his hands going to my neckline, digging his nails into my skin, not too hard but not too soft like his mouth. He seems to no longer be trembling anywhere but his knees while I was still shaking like mad. I shiver, unsure if it were caused by Baz or by the cold of the night.

The cart lurches to a sudden stop, causing my head to thud against the glass. I pull back from the kiss, making a pained face as I rub my head. Baz starts to laugh hysterically, all the worry and anxiety that had riddled him only moments ago, rolling past his lips, his head falling to my chest as his arms drape loosely over my shoulders. I start to laugh, the harsh tension and slight sexual frustration clearing the air as my head drops, my face buried into Baz’s soft, straight, black hair.

It takes a bit for our laughing fit to die down, leaving us giggling and wiping tears from our eyes. He tugs softly at the small, shaved hairs on the nape of my neck, he tries to twirl them around his index finger as he catches his breath, his head is still pushed into my chest, he looks up at me lazily with a huge grin on his face.

“I’m in love with you, Simon.” He’s finally loud enough for me to hear.

“I’m in love with you too, Tyrannus.” He rolls his eyes as I say his first name.

“You know I was only with Wellbelove today because I wanted to make you jealous.” Baz grins, “I’m gay as hell.”

I grin, “I didn’t even know I was gay until I was kissing you.” Baz laughs.

I let out a soft huff of a laugh.

This was less like a fourth-wheel situation and more like a double date.


	3. Three | | You're An Idiot And I Love It | | ~NewYearsEveBaby02

**Simon**

Penny says they’re gross and stupid and a waste of money. I think they're fantastic. The Walmart right by our apartment sell these butter sculptures. It's literally packaged butter shaped like trees and flowers and sometimes even animals. They're chemically colored yellow and taste so unhealthy. But come on, who wouldn't want butter shaped like a bear or a puppy? Penny fights me on the matter every time I tell her I need more butter to put on the numerous baked goods I'm always eating.

“Penny, it looks like a little bear!! What part of that is not awesome to you?”

“Umm, that butter is cheap and disgusting and artificial. Walmart is such a terrible store but even they have healthier butter and-”

“But is it in the shape of an adorable little bear?” (Penny usually gives up at this point by rolling her eyes and shaking her head at me.) She rolls her eyes at me today, (what did I say), and tells me to have fun poisoning myself on low-quality butter. I tell her that I will.

I scour the dairy section for my beloved butter and my eyes pass right over the usual tree, flower, and dog shaped butter. I can’t find the bear figure for some reason. _I just want some butter that’s shaped like a bear! Is that too much to ask?_

My therapist probably has a reason for me always wanting stupid bear-shaped butter sculptures. I bet she would say that due to the lack of childish things when I was younger, I had to make up for it now as an adult. (My father was an asshole and didn’t exactly let me grow up the way most kids do. He expected me to be mature and disciplined and just like him no matter what I did or what age I was.) But the truth is I just really like butter and adorable bears and scones and it works.

I finally spot the little bear made out of butter and I couldn’t be happier. With it clutched tightly in my hand, I practically skip down the aisle and towards the juice section. (I drank the last bit of orange juice last night and forgot to throw away the empty container, so when Penny made breakfast this morning she was not happy. It was actually pretty hilarious, but then she started yelling at me so I promised to buy more.) I reach for the carton and am about to grab it when I see someone in my peripheral vision. I glance towards them and immediately freeze up. It’s Agatha, my ex-girlfriend.

She’s wearing a bright pink sundress that barely falls past her knees and expensive looking sandals. Her light blonde hair cascades down her back in waves, and a sparkly necklace rests against her chest. She looks absolutely beautiful. Agatha looks like she couldn’t give a care in the world as she flounces down the aisle. She’s rummaging through the basket on her arm and luckily hasn’t seen me yet. I snap out of it and take off in a dead sprint towards the opposite end of the store. I hadn’t spoken to her since our huge fight, and we both said things that shouldn’t be remembered.

I reach the end of the alcohol section and a slightly opened door catches my attention. I quickly duck inside and slam it behind me. Yes, I know, that was extremely overdramatic. But I really, _really,_ didn’t want to talk to Agatha. Ever. My heart races as I try to catch my breath. _Are you kidding me? You didn’t even run that far! You seriously need to lay off the scones and butter._ My eyes sweep the room and I realize I’m in the small space behind the cold alcohol section, where employees restock the drinks. It’s really cold, and I shiver in my thin tee shirt. I really should’ve brought my jacket.

I can’t really see into the store with all of the drinks in the way, and I’m too scared to try and move them without breaking everything. (Breaking stuff comes very naturally to me. It’s not a good thing.) I stand on my tiptoes and move my head around, but the only thing I can see are slits of light coming from in between the bottles. I sigh and decide to wait a couple minutes for Agatha to (hopefully) leave. I count to a thousand, and then I count to a thousand again for good measure. Using the small amount of light I have, I make my way over to the door and slowly turn the handle. Except the handle won’t move. At all. I twist it and slam my shoulder against the door but it still won’t budge. “Fuck!” I yell, my voice bouncing off of the cement walls and ringing in my ears. No one can hear me. I’m stuck in a freezing little room surrounded by three walls and a bunch of alcohol. I have nowhere to go. Shit.

**Baz**

My feet drag against the ground as I make my way over to the back of the store. I just want to buy cheap alcohol in a fucking Walmart and drink away my life. It’s not like I was doing anything with it anyways. I grasp the cold door handle and rip it open, not caring how the bottles rattle and clink against each other. The whoosh of cold air makes me shiver and I grumble about how I forgot my jacket in the car. My fingers wrap around the necks of two bottles of liquor and I don’t know what the labels say. At this point, I don’t really give a shit. I lift the bottles up and then proceed to almost drop them. I can’t believe it. There’s a boy looking up at me from the spot my drinks had just been sitting.

He has incredibly blue eyes and moles that dot his golden skin. His cheeks and nose are bright red from the cold and he’s trembling. Messy curls have fallen into his face. His lips are pink and chapped and perfect. He’s beautiful. I stare at him. He stares back.

“What the hell are you doing?” I ask in bored tone, trying to convince myself that I haven’t already fallen for this lovely sunshine boy. My voice seems to snap him out of his dazed expression, and then the words fly out of his mouth so fast I can barely understand what he’s saying.

“Do you see a beautiful blonde girl in a pink dress anywhere I can’t really see from in here and I really really really don’t want to talk to her because she’s my ex-girlfriend and that’s why I’m in here I got stuck trying to hide and it’s really cold and no one can hear me because I didn’t want to move the bottles because I break things very very easily and I’m very cold and I need help opening the door it’s locked and I tried so hard to open it and I couldn’t and I seriously need your help right now and my name is Simon and I’m so cold please help me.”

He exhales on last word and stretches it out as he looks at me with pleading eyes. I start laughing because he’s an absolute idiot. And I love it.

**Simon**

_Why is he laughing? Why is this fucking gorgeous guy, in designer jeans that are so tight I might die, laughing at me?_ He laughs like I’m the funniest thing in the whole world. He laughs like it’s the first time in a long time. He laughs with his eyes and his mouth and his lips. I can’t help but grin at him, and this only makes him laugh harder. Locks of ebony hair fall in his face and I can’t help but notice how dark it looks in contrast to his light brown skin. His startling grey eyes are full of amusement and he’s so elegant and _pretty_ that I feel self-conscious just being near him. I cock my head curiously, still smiling, and he starts to speak.

“You’re… such… an… idiot!” he gasps out, and I can feel myself reddening.

“Hey! I didn’t plan on getting stuck here, in a freezing cold room, behind the alcohol display in the middle of a Walmart! I just wanted to get my damn butter that’s shaped like a bear and go home and eat scones!” His laughs are even bigger and deeper than before.

“Why… the… fuck… would… you… buy… butter… shaped… like… a… bear…?” He’s gasping so much I almost couldn’t understand him.

“I just… I think they’re cute alright?! Jeez, I don’t have to explain myself to you. Plus, I thought you were going to help me, not laugh at me like some crazy person!” His eyes shine as he slowly stops laughing, an impish smile upon his lips, and sharp eyebrows raised.

“You want me to help you? Hmmmmm…” he looks up at the ceiling in mock thought. “I could… but where’s the fun in that?” he smiles evilly and stares at me, and a shudder runs down my spine. _Fuck, he looks even hotter like that._

“C’mon, please? It’s really cold in here and I don’t have my jacket,” I beg, trying to look as sad as possible. I could swear a flash of pity and guilt crosses his face, but I’m not sure.

“Wellllll _Simon,”_  he purrs, and a small gasp escapes me as I hear my name roll off of his tongue. “I’ll let you out… as long as you let me do something before you leave.” The evil smile is back again, and I swallow roughly, trying not to think about how badly I want to kiss it right off.

“F-fine,” I stammer, trying not to sound as nervous as I am, and he waltzes over to the door. _Honestly, this boy could do anything to me and I would be completely fine with that._ I stumble towards the door and am so relieved to see it open that I almost forget about the boy. He grabs my arm as soon as I step out, and the moment his fingers touch my skin, electricity shoots through me and I gasp a little. By the look on his face, he felt it too. A hint of a blush spreads across his cheeks, and he quickly lets go, but searches for something in his pockets. He pulls out a black Sharpie and uncaps it, but it flies out of his hand and rolls behind him. He turns around, muttering something under his breath, as he bends over to grab it. A squeak escapes me and I do my best not to faint. _Fuck._

He reaches for my arm again and I move it closer to him, unsure of what he wants. The pen presses against the skin on my forearm, and I’m hyper-aware of how his long, slender fingers wrap around my wrist. In no time at all, numbers are scribbled on my arm and his touch is gone. I want it back. I take my time looking at him, starting from his insanely posh shoes and working my way up. My eyes drag over his _tight_ jeans and fitted shirt, showing off all of his sharp angles and defined muscles. I must look dazed or confused, because he rolls his eyes and starts to walk away backwards.

“That’s my number you idiot.” he says once he’s a couple feet away. “Call me the next time you decide to get trapped in a liquor display at Walmart.” He keeps backing up until he’s much farther away. “Actually, just call me!” I smile.

**Baz**

My phone rings before I’m even out of the store.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Walmart actually does sell butter sculptures, but it's usually around the holidays and the shapes are pretty limited. If only they made butter in the shape of lil bears *sigh* ;) :0)


	4. Four || I Like The Way You Taste || ~Personal.Instability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be like 2,000 words and like really fluffy but heres a 4,400 word emotional rollercoaster.

#  Baz

Snow was driving me insane. No it wasn’t the perfect smile or the blue eyes this time. It was the constant whining and bitching he’d been doing for  _ days  _ now. It wasn’t even like ‘ _ oh I’m sick _ ’ or ‘ _ boohoo I have a headache _ ’. It was just constant bloody whining, like noise, just fucking sounds.

It wasn’t hot or cute or anything, not moaning but just like the annoying sounds that small children make when their sick and want to be noticed or whatever. I knew for a fact Snow did not want my attention so I didn’t know why the hell he kept acting like the two-year-old he was. For once in my life I was sick of hearing his damn voice.

I lay awake at an ungodly hour with Snow tossing and turning and whining nonstop. I’d been driven to my breaking point now, “Snow, can you shut the fuck up?” I’m harsher than expected.

“Fuck off, Baz.” His voice is slurred and hard to understand.

“Are you bloody drunk?” I speak with distaste. (Mostly because he didn’t share).

“No.” He growls.

“Then why the fuck do you sound it?” I complain.

“None of your damn buisness, Baz.” He snaps back.

“If you must whine and keep me up all night for days on end then it is my buisness, Snow.” I shoot him a glare that he can’t see through the thick darkness.

“Fine then. My mouth is killing me, happy now?” He continues to slur.

I sit up,  **_“Clap On.”_ ** I say and the lights flicker on, I wince at the sudden flood of light and Snow yelps in pain, pulling a pillow over his head, “Stop being a little bitch, Snow.” I roll my eyes.

“My head is pounding you arse.” His voice muffled by the pillow. I stand and stomp over to the opposite side of the room and pull the pillow from his head.

“Open your mouth.” I say and he looks at me as though I just asked for oral.

“What?” His voice is hollow and scratchy now that I’m actually paying attention. I really want to help him even though he could never understand that. (Nor could I ever tell him).

“Open your mouth damn it, let me see why you’re being a little bitch.” I do feel bad for being mean but it’s what I have to do.

“Fine.” He grumbles and does as told, I look into his mouth and instantly wince. The whole back of his mouth is swollen so badly that I’m surprised he can even breathe let alone talk. It’s all red and painful looking, no wonder he’d been whimpering like a wounded animal for almost a week. I kind of wish I’d asked sooner.

“Snow…” I don’t even know what to say, “You… Good Crowley…” I run my fingers through my hair, shaking my head, “How the hell are you even  _ breathing  _ right now?”

“What do you mean?” He croaks.

“The entire back of your mouth and your throat are so swollen it looks like they could burst.” I feel horrible, my voice is bleeding emotion and I think that Snow can tell, “You  _ have _ to go to a doctor.” I insist.

“No, I’m fine. It’s just a passing illness.” He shakes his head. I don’t argue even though I know I’m right.

“Try and sleep, Snow.” I reply, brushing my hand over his forehead to check for a fever. He definitely had one and it was incredibly high at that. I sigh and shut the lights off, climbing into my own bed.

***

Not even an hour passes when I’m awoken by hysterical choking and wheezing. I almost shout at Snow out of sheer habit but I instantly realize this is not good and I’m rushing to turn on the lights and get Snow to the infirmary.

He protests between his choking but he’s so weak that I can easily carry him without much risk of him fighting against me. I get him there in record time, the nurse, Nurse Emory, hurries to his aid. 

I’m worried sick over this idiot, I should’ve forced him to come earlier but my dumbass… I groan in frustration, there's a rock in the pit of my stomach pulling at it in worry and panic.

The only people who would be awake at the horrid hour of two-thirty in the bloody morning would be me, the broken hearted (Also me) and the people getting their brains fucked out. (I wish…).

I’m pacing and wringing my hands. I needed to calm down and fast. 

Bunce comes charging in, panicked and exhausted. I know I’m boned when she comes in, knowing that she’ll catch on quick if I don’t chill the hell out. I stop my pacing and stand with my arms crossed as though I was waiting impatiently for Snow to get his arse back out here.

“Baz?” She asks, more shocked than anything at first. Her confusion wavers away quick and I’m soon being scolded, “Why the fuck are you here? He doesn’t need any of your shit right now! Are you responsible for this?” She growls. I laugh at the accusation. Like I’d ever truly try and kill Snow.

If only she knew.

“I wish.” I reply to cover myself.  _ Liar _ . I was making myself sick over Snow, he wouldn’t leave my mind.

I’m such an idiot.

She’s glaring at me, “He doesn’t need you here, Baz! Nobody want’s you here! Just go back to bed you bloody arse.” She snaps and I sigh.

I’m fully aware that I’m not wanted but I just can’t leave. I need to know if he’s alright first, “I know, Bunce. I know.” I roll my eyes, “I brought him in here so you should be thanking me. He’d probably be dead if I hadn’t.”

“Stop boasting you dick.” She glares at me, “You’re just going to kill him yourself the moment you get the chance.”

No.

“It will be an equal fight, I just know I’ll win.” I lick my lips. I’m letting Snow win but I’d never admit that. He can have whatever life I have left in me. It’s not much but he can have it if that means he’s happy.

“You’re so arrogant, Baz. You disgust me. No wonder Simon fucking hates you.”

Ouch.

I kind of lose my posture and step back a bit, she can see that I’m taken back and she seems stunned.

“I know.” Is all I say, it’s all I can say. I  _ know  _ Simon hates me, I  _ know _ he wants me dead.

_ I know. _

I let out an ever-so-slightly shaky breath, scratching at the back of my head.

“Why are you still here? Go back to your fucking room.” She tries to demand.

“I need to bring that damn nit back to our room if he’s alright so fuck off, Bunce.” Trust me, I would go back to my room if I could. I felt like my world was falling apart, Snow looked like he was dying when I brought him in here, he was so fragile and light. It felt like he weighed nothing. I thought Snow was going to die.

I rub my eyes, playing it off as I’m just tired with a heavy yawn when in reality I was trying to force myself not to cry, trying not to have a meltdown right here, trying not to spill my guts to Bounce or Snow about everything running through my head right now.

_ Trying. _

Trying so  _ bloody _ hard.

And _ what for? _

I’m running my fingers through my hair, needing to figure out something to do that can keep me busy enough that I won’t pace and shake and fidget all over the place. My heart was in my damn throat I was so worried, I couldn’t swallow the lump it caused.

Bunce left after about an hour and I’d managed to doze off for a while in one of the chairs.

Nurse Emory came out and awoke me from my restless sleep, “Basilton.” She said to catch my attention once I woke. I rub my eyes and look at her, humming to show her I was listening, “Mr. Snow seems to have a severe infection in his throat and mouth. I called a doctor who will be here tomorrow… Well, technically in a few hours, to run some tests. You should head back to your room and get some rest. Mr. Snow will be okay.” 

For the first time in a week I felt relief.

I slept until noon peacefully in the infirmary.

***

I’m woken the next day by the clatter of metal on metal. I’m so stiff and my body aches from sleeping in the worst positions ever. I rub at my neck making a face at the twinge of pain, rolling my head back in attempt to crack my neck and dull the soreness.

“Mr. Pitch.” Nurse Emory says as she notices I’m awake, “Would you like anything to eat?”

“Huh?” I rub my eyes, still dazed with sleep, “How’s Snow?”

“He’s doing fine, the doctor is looking him over now.” She smiles at me, “Would you like anything to eat?”

“Um…?” I try and think, the only thing in my head right now was Snow, “Sure? Please?” I say getting a nod. She brings me tea, sour cherry scones and roast beef.

I don’t feel like eating, I’ll save the scones for later.

**_“Can’t See It!”_ ** I spell them hidden.

***

Snow had infected wisdom teeth, they had also messed up his gums and on top of that, his usual bad timing for everything, he also had tonsillitis and needed to be operated on for both. This was going to be hell, but I get to take care of him as long as Bunce fucks off of him long enough.

I was overly nervous throughout the surgery, staying in the infirmary the whole time still. Bunce came in when they were just about done with Snow who was fucked up on so much medicine he’d be high for weeks.

“Why are you still here, Baz?” She sounds more annoyed than mad this time.

“I came in to see if he was coming back yet.” I keep lying, lying constantly. Just a no good liar.

She looks me up and down, I’m a mess, I know. I look dead (but when do I not) and my hair is standing every-which-way. I’m a liar, a dirty liar.

“Baz, what the hell is wrong with you?” She shakes her head, she seems soft, “You look like you slept here.” She points out.

“I just woke up and came down here, I didn’t feel the greatest and stayed in my room all day.” Lies, just quit lying. I want to just spill my heart to her but I can’t give up my secret. I’ve been in love with Simon Snow since the moment my eyes met his from across the courtyard. Something about his scruffy and somewhat dirty appearance drew me to him. I swear to this day that the crucible didn’t pick us as roommates, my craving for this stupid-looking eleven year old, my desire to call him my own.

“Okay.” She mumbles, not pushing it any farther.

The doctor walked out of the room and so did Nurse Emory, “Mr. Snow is doing well! You may go and see him though he isn’t yet awake.” She grins at us and I follow Bunce into the room.

I look at him, his mouth swollen with cotton things poking out the sides, drooling everywhere. He was so perfect, so adorable. I can’t help myself but to brush his golden locks of curly hair out of his face, tracing my fingers over his warm forehead and down the side of his face, tracing his jawline. I watch him with a soft, worried stare.

“Baz.” Bunce’s voice snaps me out of my trance and I almost chock realizing how bad I’d just fucked up, “Can you stop fucking lying about everything?” I feel a sting in my chest.

“I’m a liar, Bunce.” I speak.

“Then quit it!” She almost yells.

“I want to!” I shout and she looks taken back, I think I scared her, “I-... I  _ want _ to, Bunce.”

“Then why the hell don’t you?” She speaks calmly, trying to calm me too.

“Because, you can’t just be honest when you’re hopelessly in love with your worst enemy.” I mumble, closing my eyes momentarily, reopening them to look at Snow. It hurts.

To look at the person you love and see them in pain is probably the most heartbreaking and gut wrenching thing on the planet. I want to just make him stop hurting but there's nothing I can do and I think that’s what hurts most.

I finally look at Bunce whose jaw is hanging open, her eyes wide as she can’t believe what I just said, “You can’t tell him.” I say, “Please, Penelope,  _ please _ don’t tell Snow. I’ll do  _ anything _ .”

She shakes her head, “You can’t be. You’re a liar.”

I finally tell the truth and this is what I get. I’m called a liar the moment I finally tell the truth that I could never say.

I look in her eyes, tears threatening to fall from mine, “This is the one thing that I didn’t lie about, that I don’t  _ want _ to lie about.” I breathe, “I want to scream it at the top of my lungs from the highest building for everybody to hear, I want to say it until my lungs collapse, I’m madly and hopelessly in love with my worst enemy, Simon Snow… I’m...  _ so _ in love with Simon Snow.” My hands tremble, I’ve never said it out loud before. It felt so good but hurt so much worse. At least when it was in my head I could try and convince myself I was just crazy and that I was just thinking too much but now that I said it out loud, it was true, it was the only  _ real _ thing in my life. My knees were wobbly and I felt weak. I sat in the chair next to his bed. I was tired and all I wanted was to be back in my room with Snow safe in bed, hating my existence. As long as he’s okay, I don’t care if he hates me. 

“How… How long?” Stammers Bunce.

“Since my eyes first landed upon his stupid scrawny body and his… His blue eyes… Just everything about him drew me into him.” My voice cracks and I swallow hard, trying not to cry. I  _ would not _ break, not now, not ever again.

***

I had fallen asleep apparently, being smacked awake by Snow, “Baz!” He’s exclaiming.

“What?” I blink awake in a panic, “What’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?”I stumble over my words in a half-asleep worry.

“You’re hair is so messy!” He gasps, “And you have purple circles around your eyes!” His blue eyes are wide and confused. He is high off his arse.

I smile, this is my little window to start anew, just for now, “Thank you, Snow.” I laugh. 

“Can I fix it?” He waves his hand, trying to touch my terribly messy black locks.

I move to sit on the edge of the bed and he sits up, his mouth is still stuffed with cotton and it’s hard to make out what he’s saying. He starts playing with my hair, it feels so, so good. I close my eyes and soak it in.

Simon Snow was playing with my hair and touching me, talking to me as if I’m his best friend.

He pulls at my arm, trying so hard to grab my face in his hands, failing in his drunken state. I take his hands and place them to my cheeks, letting him touch me. My heart was pounding and my stomach flips and I’m definitely shaking. He pulls one hand away after only a few seconds and pushes my lip up to look at my fangs.

He opens his own mouth, dropping the bloody cotton into his lap, baring his teeth at me.

“I want those too.” He pokes my sharp ones.

“I can’t really give them to you, Snow.” I laugh.

“Simon.” He says, “My name is Simon.” He nods like a child.

“Simon.” His name sends butterflies through my stomach, “I’m sorry, Simon.” I just want to kiss his stupid mouth.

I pick up the cotton, “Open.” I say and he shakes his head.

“They taste bad.” He frowns, “I don’t want to.” He’s so cute it hurts, he’s so adorable and small.

“Doesn’t it hurt, Sn-... Simon?” I ask him gently. He nods his head.

“Yes.” He puts his hands to my cheeks again and pulls me closer to him, crawling up to me. Snow leans up and pushes his cheek to mine, “Cold.” He mumbled, closing his eyes in pleasure. I feel my heart leap into my throat and my stomach twist into tight knots. I breathing hitches, eyes wide as my cheeks grow pink. (That’s a new one, a blushing vampire).

“Wha-... What are you doing?” My voice is a bit too high.

“It feels good. So cold.” He purrs, rubbing his face against mine. He pulls back to place his other cheek to my other one also. I can’t help it. I place my hands to his swollen face and pull him to my lips, I feel this rush, it’s so surreal. I was kissing Simon Snow.

This is all I ever dreamed of and more. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’d never kissed anyone before, let alone I drooling, sick boy in an infirmary that I’ve been in love with for almost a decade. Snow takes the lead as he pulls himself into my lap, moving his lips to mine, his hands gripping my shirt and hair tightly. I melt into his kiss, into him. I feel like an ice cream in the heat, dripping everywhere, a total sloppy mess, but Snow loved it anyway. I try to deepen the kiss but he whimpers and pulls away before anything amazing happened.

Well, not really. That was amazing. I was high off his touch and my head is spinning. That all just really happened, sparks flew (metaphorically, sadly) and electricity ran through my veins, my lips tingling. My hand finds my lips, I’m trembling and beaming, I just can’t take it. This was real, Simon Snow just snogged me so hard that my lips are numb.

Snow is giggling like a child being tickled, his hand on his mouth.

“Your lips are soft.” He falls back on the bed, completely gone at this point. Simon Snow would never remember this moment, this moment would soon just be a memory that I’ll convince myself was just some crazy amazing dream.

“You taste better than I ever imagined.” My eyes flutter drunkenly.

His head tips to the side, “Huh?” He’s still giggling his head off.

“I love you, Simon. I’m so in love with you. I love you, I love you, I love you.” I say over and over on the verge of tears yet again.

He seems confused, his head wobbling from side to side, his eyes half lidded, “I am hopelessly in love with you, Simon Snow.  _ Hopelessly _ … In love with every single bit of you.” I say and kiss him once more, letting my lips linger, knowing I’ll never, ever be able to feel that beautiful feeling ever again.

I leave the Scones on the bedside table.

***

I refused to go back, Bunce even asked me what the hell happened to steer me away. I just told her that I knew he was okay and didn’t see a reason to go back. I just couldn’t bear to look at him. Today Snow comes back, he should be off doing whatever, letting his stupid little ‘friend’ group know he was  _ ‘alive and well!’  _ I wouldn’t have to worry about seeing him all day. 

But now that I’m stood before Simon Snow, I realize that I am most definitely wrong.

“Why are you here?” I give him a disgusted look.

“It’s my room too.” He looks me up and down. 

“Shouldn’t you be prancing around letting everybody know that the  _ precious Mage’s Heir  _ is alive and well.” I growl, glaring daggers at him even though my chest throbbed just looking at him.

“I can’t really talk so no.” He’s much cockier than normal. His voice is rough and it sounds painful to talk. Kissing would do just as well as talking.

I need to stop.

“Don’t you have anything better to be doing?” I huff and flop back onto my bed. Now sits uncomfortably close to me.

“Not really.” What the fuck was he doing?

“Get the fuck away from me and get off my bed.” I snarl and he looks me dead in the eye.

“You don’t mind.” He states.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Just because you’re all healthy again doesn’t mean I can’t kill you in an instant.” 

“You would never do it.” He pushes, never breaking eye contact.

“Try me.” He get’s closer and I feel my throat get tight, making it hard to swallow and I suck in a sharp breath.

“You’re so cold.” Snow says and I grow pale. (That’s also a new thing, I was practically invisible).

“W-What?” I stumble over my words and he smirks. I push past him and get to my feet.

“For a genius you surely are bloody stupid, Baz.” He shakes his head, my stomach drops, “Anesthetic isn’t like alcohol, you don’t just forget.” 

My world crumbles beneath me in that single moment. 

“N-...No.” I shake my head this time and he stands up. He steps closer to me and touches my hand.

“Baz, are you okay?” I hear him ask and I feel ill.

I lurch away from his touch, stumbling backwards until I hit the closet door with my back. I’m trembling so hard I can barely stand. I push my hair out of my face. (A nervous habit of mine). I rub vigorously at my eyes, forcing the tears away. I wouldn’t have a meltdown. The only time I ever felt this way before was when I had a mental collapse, forced to come out to my family, I burst like this. I promised I’d never do it again but here I am throwing a tantrum like a child.

“No! You-You were never supposed to know! You weren’t supposed to find out! You can’t know!” I’m loud,  _ too _ loud as I force the tears away, “No, no, no, no, no!” I shout, this couldn’t be happening. 

“Baz… Hey, hey… It’s okay.” He reaches out and touches my arm. I shove him back and feel myself break.

“No! It’s not okay! I’m a fucking liar! A cheat! A fake!” I yell at him, ripping my hands away from my face, revealing bright red eyes as tears pour down my face. I’m shaking so hard and feel dizzy enough to faint. This couldn’t be real.

Snow sits on the edge of my bed, “Get off.” I hiss through hot tears.

“No.” He’s strict but soft with his voice, “Baz.” He swallows, “Sit down, come on.” He looks me up and down for a split second before placing his hand on the space next to him.

“No!” I snap as tears rack my body, I’m hunched over, holding my arms around my stomach, trying to breath through the heavy, hard sobs, “No! It’s all over! It’s ruined! Hate me, Simon! You have to hate me! None of this… None of this can happen!” I’m sobbing to hard to continue speaking.

He seems to be at a loss for words, “I… Baz, please just-”

“Shut up!” I yell, “Just… Shut up!” I cry so hard I choke and cough, “You’re supposed to hate me! That’s what I…” No, I didn’t  _ want _ that, I  _ need  _ it, “I need you to tell me you hate me, I need you to tell me that I’m stupid, worthless!  _ Please. _ ” I beg, “I need to hear you say the truth.” I fall to the floor, my legs too wobbly and weak to hold me up.

Snow slips off the bed to the floor as well, crawling over to me on his hands and knees, stopping in front of me. He takes my hands in his.

“Fine, if that’s what you want.” He lets out a sigh, “I hate you so much, Baz, so much that I can’t help myself.” 

He kisses me.

“You’re stupid.” And his lips go to mine again, “Dumb.” And again, “Pathetic.” Again, “So goddamn sweet tasting.” And his lips connect to mine, his tongue running over mine.

He holds my cheeks in his hands, “I hate you, Baz Pitch, I obviously hate you so much.” He’s smiling, he looks like he’s in pain. He kisses me again, hard but it doesn’t last as he begins coughing.

“Let me get you some medicine.” I tell him, I want to dull his pain.

“I don’t need a cough drop with your tongue in my mouth.” He pushes me to my back, my knees held up and he drops to lay between them, his mouth, like candy, on mine. I squeeze his waist between my thighs. He’s kissing me so hard, his mouth so soft. He tastes like smoke and apples, two of my favorite things, just below Simon of course.

He’s pulling at my hair, moaning (I can’t tell if he’s in pain or really enjoying this all) he tries to stick my tongue into my mouth but I denied him, I didn’t want him to get cut on my fangs.

The door opens, “Simon, I brought you ice-... cream…?” She doesn’t see him in his bed and hasn’t noticed us on the floor yet.

“Simon?” She mumbles, “Ba-...” Her voice falls as she spots us, “Nice one, have fun. Here’s ice cream, I’m gonna just… Leave?” She stammers awkwardly and makes her way out.

“You didn’t tell her?” I ask as he pulls away.

“Well, I may have thought I was going to um… Deny you but like… I like this, a lot.” I go to speak but he kisses me before I can ask questions.

Good thing he got his tonsils out already or else I would’ve done it myself.


	5. Not Even Death Can Keep Us Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was sorta Supernatural inspired (you'll see why) and I hope you like this oneshot!! 
> 
>  
> 
> Dedicated to TheNerdyGayShips because they commented very nicely and said we should update. So I did. This one's for you darling!! :D

**Death**

 

The list didn’t give me a name. It never did. It gave me the relative location and I had to go from there. The dying person is never hard to find. Call it a gut feeling. This time was. . . different. I broke the rules. I made a choice that might of changed something, might have caused more deaths and more problems, but somehow I don’t think it did. In some strange way, I think it was _meant_ to happen. . . but I don’t know. My job is to kill the dying and deliver them to my reapers. What happens afterwards is out of my hands.

***

My finger found the next location on the list. I spoke it clearly in my mind, and was instantly transported there. It was a hospital room, Room 61, and I immediately noticed two people. Two boys. One was in the bed, with needles and tubes and blinking lights sticking out of him every which way. The other was in an uncomfortable-looking chair, head lolling to the side and eyelids heavy with sleep. I could tell right away which one of them was dying, hospital bed and needles aside. The one in the bed looked and smelled like death. Which isn’t saying much, because I’m the same way. (Obviously.)

He had limp curls, turned a faded yellowish-brown in the dim hospital light and pale, sickly skin. His hair was matted against his forehead with a thin layer of sweat, and his eyes were closed. _Good. He’s asleep. Most people aren’t that lucky._ Light brown freckles dusted his neck and shoulders, and tawny moles under his eyes and on his jaw. He looked pained, even in his slumber, but I could see faint smile lines around his mouth and eyes. He had a lot of smiles to share and a lot to be happy about. I could tell.

The boy next to him (maybe a friend or cousin? They didn’t look very similar) was also very pale. Paler than the dying boy, surprisingly. Except not really; I knew what he was. But, I wasn’t here for him. It didn’t matter. The paler boy had shoulder-length ebony hair that hung loosely around his collarbones, and a sharp nose. Thin lips covered what I assumed to be deadly teeth, and his long legs were stretched out in front of him.

I walked over to the bed and took a long look at the dying boy. His breathing was shallow and short, and his pulse was very low. Heart failure. Such a shame. I stepped a little closer; it was time. My hand reached out and my fingers lightly brushed his forehead. I let them rest there for a moment, before pulling away and watching the heart monitor flat line. I turned around, ready to answer the soul’s terribly annoying questions, while my reaper led him away. (She was already in the corner, waiting.) I was not met with frantic questions or a shocked face this time. This time, the soul was quiet. Tears were pouring down his cheeks and he was slumped over in defeat. But the weirdest thing was that he wasn’t even looking at his body. He was staring at the black-haired boy, still asleep in the chair, while his silent sobs made him tremble and shake.

“I’m sorry. I am. But you’re dead, and you need to leave,” I said in a calm, practiced voice. The soul shook his head, and his blue eyes dulled with bitter heartbreak.

“I can’t leave him,” he cried out in a hoarse whisper. “I can’t leave him. Please. I can’t.”

“I’m sorry,” I replied dryly, “but I’m sure your friend will be alright.”

“He’s not my friend.” The boy’s voice broke, and giant, grief-stricken sobs escaped his lips while he shuddered in pain.

Oh. So they weren’t friends. They were more than that. How . . . unfortunate.

“I’m _sorry,_ ” I said, a little softer this time. “But it’s time to _go._ ” I waved my reaper forward, and she laid a hand on the blue-eyed soul’s shoulder. He jerked away from her, and tried to touch the dark-haired boy, but his hand went right through. He fell to his knees and started to choke out more words.

“I _love_ him. I love him so, so much, you don’t understand. He needs me. _I_ need _him._ I’ve never loved anything the way I love him. Please. I’ll do anything please, please don’t make me go. Please.”

It was always so hard with lovers. Especially when they were together like this. I nodded towards my reaper, and she lifted him up. He didn’t fight back. He just shook and whimpered quietly.

“Please,” I had to strain to hear him; his voice was so small. “Let me say goodbye.”

I held up a finger. “One minute.”

He dragged himself over to the chair and collapsed on the ground beside it, closer to the other boy’s head. He put his lips centimeters away from the boy’s ear, and breathed words I couldn’t make out. The soul tried to kiss the paler boy, but he fell through. I think that’s when he broke.

The reaper started to lead the soul away, and I followed. We both stopped, however, when a low growl sounded from behind us.

“Don’t. You. _Dare._ ”

The tall, paler boy was awake now, and his grey eyes were burning with passion and anger.

“ _No._ You don’t get to just _leave._ No. I won’t let you. You’re _mine,_ ” The boy seethed with fury as he reached out towards his lover, his face twisting in pain when he realized he couldn’t touch him.

He turned to me, then, and started to spit, “I can see you, you sick bastard. You took him away from me. This is all your fault. _Fix it._ ”

“I can’t,” I answered, coolly. “He’s dead, and there’s nothing anyone can do. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t like that. Not one little bit. “Yes. You. _Can._ You’re fucking Death- yeah I know who you are- so bring. Him. Back.”

“I _can’t._ I couldn’t do it, even if I wanted to. It’s against the rule-”

“Then break them.” The grey-eyed boy said, forcefully. “Or are you too  _weak_?”

“Watch it boy,” I hissed. “You don’t know who you’re dealing with. I can wipe you off the face of this godforsaken planet with the wave of my hand. _Don’t_ test me.”

Something flashed across the tall boy's face. It was brief, and anyone else probably would've missed it, but I’ve been around for quite awhile. I can read people. He lost. He gave up. He was _done._ But as quick as it came, it was immediately replaced by a cold, stony look. He had decided something, and it didn’t look good.

“Then do it.”

“ _No._ ” He wasn’t on the list. It wasn’t his time. I couldn’t do it. No.

His voice cracked and he fell to his knees before me, eyes filled with fresh sadness. “ _Please._ He’s all I have. I don’t have anything else to live for, please, believe me. I love him more than life itself, please, I’m begging you, kill me. Do it. Please.”

“No,” the golden soul rasped, trying so hard not to fall. “You can’t. You can’t die. Please, _don’t_.

I turned to my reaper, yet her face was impassive. It was up to me, then. I turned back to the dying boy. (He is dying, I see that now.)

“That isn’t something that can be changed. There’s no going back. Do you understand?”

He nodded his head, once, and continued to look at me while tears streaked down his face.

“Are you sure this is something you want?” I already knew the answer; I just needed him to hear the answer himself.  

“ _Yes._ ” He whispered, so quiet I almost didn’t hear him. I stepped forward and brushed two fingers across his temple, letting them linger a bit, before his body slumped to the ground, lifeless and empty. His soul appeared, and he immediately rushed to his lover. Usually, souls couldn’t touch or feel another soul; they were too corporeal. But, there were exceptions. This was one of them.

They fell together, crying and smiling and whispering each others names. Their foreheads pressed together and they exchanged breathless words. I couldn’t hear them, but they weren’t my words to hear. They didn’t belong to me. They belonged to the two boys in front of me, glowing and flickering and holding each other so close they might of been one. Their lips met briefly, and they both trembled. My reaper didn’t need any instructions; she walked over to the souls and took them gently by their shoulders. They hardly even noticed, because they just kept stumbling forward, clutching onto each other like a lifeline. Even though both of their lives were mine now. They walked out of the room together, bright blue eyes and stormy grey ones, into a fantastic light. The boys disappeared, along with my reaper. But neither of them cared where they were going; they had each other and that’s all that mattered.

***

Like I said, I think it was _meant_ to happen. And I think you agree. Besides, who would ever be foolish enough to argue with Death? Only the idiots and the lovers, I suppose. But sometimes they’re one of the same thing. And that’s the one thing that _can_ stop me. Not even Death can keep lovers apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmu if anyone loves Supernatural too (fucking love that show) and Go find my blogs on Tumblr @carryonmylovelies or @incorrect-carryon
> 
> Btw, I figured that since Baz was a vampire and was dead??? kinda dead??? he could see Death. I'm probably wrong, but hey, it worked for the story!


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